PSA to homophobes, from an agnostic lapsed Catholic

Originally posted on my personal Facebook.

Dear friends,

The LGBT community and activists haven’t been kind to you, including myself. We have made the umbrella term “homophobia” and have posted mocking remarks about your faith. We have called you stupid. In return, you defend yourselves. The cycle never ends.

As a pacifist, I think it’s good to draw lines between what we agree to disagree on, so shall we?

It’s okay if you think …

1. that queer sexuality isn’t normal.

The community will hate this, but honestly, there are no clear grounds on what constitutes as paraphilia, as queerness was previously included. There is a chance that we’re probably in the wrong, and this whole thing is a political scheme all along. Who knows. Here’s the thing that ensures us that queerness isn’t a perversion: animals can be gay or bi. Animals have no free will, aye? So it’s biological, at least. Some animals are anthrophilic too, though, so that’s … awkward. I need to read this.

Regardless, sexology is a rather new field and is constantly updated. Paraphilia or not, I personally don’t kinkshame. My friends are more real and important than some vague idea of right/wrong. Again, to each of their own.

2. that marriage is exclusively for a man and woman.

Abrahamic religion views both sexes as complementary and highly values procreation. You live in a society with a strong Abrahamic influence of heteronormativity. I appreciate how important religious morality is to you because you are my friend too.

However, it is not okay if you think AND share …

1. that queer sexuality is contagious

Should I elaborate this? It’s pretty you-don’t-say that the world is full of influence. My fabulous Oscar Wilde has a good point written in The Picture of Dorian Gray:

“There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral — immoral from the scientific point of view. Because to influence a person is to give him one’s own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else’s music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realize one’s nature perfectly — that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one’s self. (2.8) “

Influences are everywhere. You are influenced by your holy scriptures. We are influenced by sexology. Influence might work like a virus, but it is not a virus. A friend who sees queerness as paraphilia responded here that (I’m translating as fairly as possible, Indonesian direct quote below).

“LGBT can be psychologically contagious because the increasingly blatant exploitation nowadays is dangerous for the younger generation. What’s worrisome is the lack of guidance from their environment leads these kids (‘s sexual orientation) to deviate. Especially boys who consistently fail to obtain a girl’s love. It’s proven, I’ve seen the cases. Maybe this is what (OP’s post about how ‘LGBT is a contagious disease’) means. Just my two cents LOL.”

Indonesian:

LGBT mah ga menular secara biologis tapi mungkin bisa secara psikologis adanya eksploitasi yang semakin terang2n kaya sekarang jadi bahaya buat generasi anak2. takutnya kurangnya bimbingan dari lingkungan buat anak2 terjerumus menjadi penyimpangan orientasi seksual.apalagi klo anak muda yang gagal terus klo nembak cewek. terbukti loh gw udah liat kasusnya. mungkin ini kali yang dimaksud menular. wkwkwk cuma pendapat aja
Yep. Clearly “psychologically contagious” can be explained as influence. I believe this has to do with one’s independent-mindedness and other factors more than the LGBT community itself. Promoting acceptance doesn’t turn anyone queer, they bring the queers out of the closet. It doesn’t get easier though, because our society is still heteronormative.

2. that queerness equals promiscuity

Anyway: despite my straightness, I consider myself a demisexual, which is a spectrum in asexuality, hence a part of the LGBTQ community.

Let me explain (hopefully well) what LGBTQ stands for. LGBTQ doesn’t defend promiscuity, rather it understands that sexuality is a spectrum and not a binary. There are tons of variation in sexuality that can be parallelized to this Munsell Color System:

Being the Visual Communications student that I am.

There are three aspects in the system: hue, chroma, and value.

  1. Your hue is your sexual orientation. It’s basically who you picture in your sex dreams. Do you want penis or vagina? For example, men, or mostly men, or men and women, or mostly women, and women. Where am I? Men, or mostly men. (I actually prefer the term androphilia/gynophilia than straight/gay, because gender itself is another spectrum and it gets really weird. But that’s for another time.)
  2. The lesser your chroma is, the harder it is for you to experience sexual attraction. 0 = asexual. I’m on like, 4-6. You might be 10, or 12? That’s fine AF. You see, this is what determines promiscuity. Not the hue.
  3. Your value is the level of your kinkyness. I’d say BDSM/hardcore stuff belongs right there in 0. Where am I? I’d say 5-8.

See how respectful and accomodative this community is? I don’t see why the hate at all!

3. that queer sexuality should be treated until straightness

I shared Yovantra Arief’s status yesterday, in which he said: if we didn’t force pork to be halal, why should we force queers to be straight? To which a friend answered in his post, if we know what is right for somebody, it is our duty to lead them to the light.

Good for you. However, there are implications to your views.

Please understand that what you shared are highly dangerous, discriminative, and offensive to the community.

There are huge amount of reports on attacks and suicide in the LGBT community because of you spreading hate around. Look it up, care. Be fair, be wise. There’s no harm in being informed regardless of your views. Sharing news about how you reject LGBT persecution doesn’t automatically make you a queer supporter, the way how I defend your view doesn’t change mine.

Think of what is really, historically, contagious instead. Fear. Hate. Harm. These things have led to war (unimportant, stupid wars) and by spreading the two things above, you have helped them spread. If you think homosexual sex is more offensive to God than persecution of minorities, I really fear for you. In that rather acute case, I beg you, please remove me as your friend.

If you get what I’m saying, be kind. You don’t need to justify your views anymore because we get it. Honestly, WE GET IT (see above). It hurts the LGBT community, but they get it. (Some of them probably don’t care about your views, though, as some of you clearly don’t care about their well-being.)

Regardless, you are good people. You are my friends. You are kind. Kind people don’t act in spite. Think of the bigger picture. Keep hate close and spread love around.

AND DON’T BE LAZY TO EXPLAIN LGBT TO YOUR CHILDREN FAIRLY. THE BOYCOTT/CENSORSHIP IS RIDICULOUS.

Thank you.

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